I want always gets!

OK, I want to be best friends with a unicorn and that probably won't happen, but I can dream.  No, not just dream, I can talk about it.

Children get told not to say, 'I want'.  It is important to develop polite young people who respect others and their surroundings, but I think this particular method has backfired.

'Please may I have'  is really saying, 'I'm not sure if I'm entitled to this'.  Let's develop our sense of entitlement without the guilt that so often accompanies it.  Many adults are plagued by anxiety.  So are many of our children.  This feeling of uncertainty about whether we are deserving must be a strong factor.

I've begun playing a game when I notice I'm feeling anxious.  I list all the things I want at that moment.  It doesn't matter how nonsensical, contrary or unhelpful.  Often, I think I don't know what I want, so my desires start that way.  Then self compassionate, realistic, caring needs emerge and I can decide what to do next, with a genuine sense of ease.  I might not get that unicorn, but I do gain a welcome sense of relief and joy. And that, is almost as good.